


Of Two Minds About Everything

by Bluesunnyday



Category: Battleborn (Video Game)
Genre: Dual Personality, God Help Me I Hope I Nail Character Personalities, Gore, Guns, cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 07:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6844753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluesunnyday/pseuds/Bluesunnyday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An attempt at an OC Story for Battleborn, one that hopefully doesn't go extremely pear-shaped! Join our dual-personality protagonist as they battle their way through the main story of Battleborn, interacting with other characters and generally being loathed by everyone! Violence, black comedy, and general tomfoolery await!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Two Minds About Everything

Phoebe definitely enjoyed combat as much as the next person. The chance to test out her new technologies in combat always proved thrilling, and she couldn't deny that slaying her foes was simply exhilarating in and of itself. However, she was also smart enough to realize when she was beaten.

And so, she waited in the “Spawn Room”, as her erstwhile allies had taken to calling it, of her team's Minion Facility, waiting for the inevitable end. She supposed being devoured alive by MINREC would be pretty painful, but whatever scientific energies brought her friends back from being gunned down could probably bring them back from being recycled.

She'd planned on having more or less a quiet, dignified last minute or two before the inevitable, ugly defeat came to claim her... And so when the dignity was shattered by the newest recruit reappearing in the room, screaming like a madman and brandishing a gun that looked better suited to an antique show than active combat, she was rather peeved.

She was even more peeved when this madman dashed out the door, and was promptly blown into several small chunks by a well-placed grenade from the enemy team's Oscar Mike, one of which managed to fly far enough to impact her in the face and cover her dress in the neon-blue blood that flowed through the Janusite's veins.

It was going to be one of those days, wasn't it?

\----------------------------------------------

Jane supposed, in the grand scheme of things, that that last mission could have gone better. It hadn't been his fault, of course. It was never his fault! Sure, he'd let Orendi burn Benedict into a state that could only be referred to as “Extra Crispy” with a Shadowfire Pillar, but what was he supposed to do? Just dive in dramatically and push that eagle bastard out of the way, coincidentally getting burnt alive himself?

...no, shut up hypothetical person he's talking to, it doesn't matter that Benedict was half dead and he was in perfect health.

Everyone else was just way too incompetent. That was the answer...

Or was it? What if he was really just a big loser that nobody liked? What if they all hated him the way that Jane hated Uhs and oh my god what was that noise the Varelsi broke into the ship and now they're gonna kill us all and NO SHUT UP UHS.

At this point, we should probably take a moment to focus on Jane and Uhs separately... or, really, together, as Jane and Uhs are technically the same person. You see, Jane and Uhs are members of the Janusite species, a mostly human-like race of aliens from the now-destroyed Planet Janus.

Every Janusite is unique in that they have two diametrically opposed personalities inhabiting one body. Jane is a bloodthirsty soldier, formerly a greatly feared counter-revolutionary directly on the payroll of the Janusite's government, or at least what little there was.

The other half, Uhs, on the other hand, is a sniveling coward, too scared of his own shadow to to do much more in combat than flail ineffectively and fire his gun in random directions.

Understandably, a big part of Jane's training for the Janusite government was elaborate, intensive therapy to get Uhs as repressed as possible. While hideously unhealthy for the mental state of the two, it was also remarkably effective in quashing down their cowardice and making them the perfect murder machine.

Of course, the Varelsi being the Varelsi, Jane's life of shooting revolutionaries and generally pricking it up was not to last. The star that Planet Janus orbited was consumed by them, and Jane and Uhs had to make a break for it, leaving behind the only life they had ever known, as well as their only real source of stability in their life...

And Jane wouldn't have been able to care if you'd payed him.

After a little bit of flying around the galaxy and wondering just what the heck they were going to do with themselves, Jane and Uhs discovered The Rogues. They were confronted with a group that shirked the laws and morality of the other factions, people who accepted all sorts with no concern for who they may be...

The Rogues quickly learned to regret that decision when Jane asked to be let in, on grounds that he had nowhere else to go.

Simply put, Jane and Uhs aren't exactly the bestest buddies that a person could ask for. Jane was a temperamental, bloodthirsty maniac who was thoroughly bored to death when not shooting things. And when Jane got bored, people usually got seriously injured.

And Uhs... well, Uhs couldn't be relied on to do anything right. He'd find some reason to worry himself half to death over the stupidest justifications. Ask him to make dinner one night? He'd try to cut meat and promptly panic himself over the idea of the semi-sharp knife cutting his hand off. Try to get him to deliver a letter? He'd probably burn it over concerns about anthrax.

But god help him, Jane was good at shooting people. Really, really good at shooting people. He supposed he was more used to sneaking in and being all stealthy about it, but he wasn't exactly averse to outright combat situations.

And that's basically the only reason that The Rogues kept his sorry Janusite ass around, honestly.

\------------------------------------------

Jane was, at the moment, in his quarters. The sparsely decorated room was cramped and generally shoddy, but he could have honestly cared less. There was enough room for a simple music player and the various gadgets he used in combat, and that was basically all he needed.

As he sat down on his cot, preparing for a long, fulfilling night of trying and failing to polish that same goddamn spot on his SMG that he'd been trying to remove for a year, his communicator let out a buzz.

While Uhs immediately recommended picking up the com, then changing his mind and declaring it may be bad news, then changing his mind again and deciding the person on the other end may get angry if they don't pick up, Jane just sent the incoming message to voicemail.

After the unusually chipper voicemail response of “Hi! I'm not home right now, but if you wanna leave a message, just start talking at the sound of the tone!” recorded by Uhs in one of his rare, non-panicked moments, a voice emanated from the device, one that suggested both advanced age and a distinct lack of enthusiasm for the message he was delivering.

“I believe this is the communicator number for a Jane and Uhs? Good, fantastic, another mentally unstable duo, like the teenage girl and the psychotic alien weren't enough... er, regardless, my name is Gunnar Kleese, and this is a message to you from Trevor Ghalt. We've heard tell of your... expertise in the battlefield, at least in minor skirmishes, and we may have use for you in more specialized missions.”

“Report to the UPR Nova tomorrow morning, or else we'll sic Orendi on you... believe it or not, that was also from Trevor Ghalt... goodbye, I suppose... oh god, we're really using them? Have you seen what they use in battle? It's like watching a thrift shop walk into... what do you mean still o-”

With that, the message ended. Jane supposed he should have been significantly more insulted by Kleese's putting down of his arsenal, but instead he found himself pretty thrilled by what the message had implied.

He was going to be sent on a specialized mission! He wasn't just going to be thrown at people who were supposed to be on his side and sometimes, strangely enough, a clone of himself! There'd be danger, and action, and probably a lot of murder!

Uhs, on the other hand, silently wondered if he could just shoot himself now from within Jane's mind...


End file.
